Its friday afternoon and i am at the airport again ... as usual there is heavy rain at the airport and all the flight timelines have gone to hell. I have rescheduled myself to an afternoon flight which now leaves late in the evening. I have several hours to kill and no ideas at hand.. so while i am sitting idle i begin observing the people around me and surprisingly i am quite amused and occupied....
I am going to start with this lady right in front of me .. easily 40 or over in age but 16 at heart, she is wearing a twilight tee and a mini skirt.. the only problem here is that she must also be easy 200 pounds and my eyes are getting sore by just looking at them thunder thighs....next to her i see this fitness freak... wearing his spandex gym trousers at his chest (probably because his doctor told him to strain his nuts once in a while) and just to make it a little more graphic he has a muscle tee on, which accentuates his entire mid-weight body and since his gear is all tight fit he leaves nothing for the imagination so much so that he may serve as a live specimen at the human anatomy class ..diagonally opposite to me a is an oldie who kinda looks like the life has been sucked right out of her with a dyson cleaner.. she is lean as a stick but just when you think you want to empathise let me also give you some more intricate details.. she is carrying a pooch in her bag, probably wearing a designer dress whose belt buckle is larger than her face,and talking of face she had heavy makeup enough to put a circus clown to shame, a fake buffed wig and a face exploited by the invention of botox so much so that the amount of money she would spent on her face alone could feed 4 families in my village for an entire year......I am going to stop now and head to the nearest bar and drink myself silly.....Later !!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I am like....
Have you ever had a conversation with an individual where he/she starts the sentence with "I am Like..." .. WTF is that !! Not only is it a common lingo amongst today's teens but I am seeing this as a norm with educated professionals. Why is it that the world has run out of vocabulary and have to converse like they are writing a script for a teen sitcom.. Here is an excerpt from a actual conversation i had with an acquaintance the other day...
me:Hey XXX nice shirt....
XXX: Oh my god..I have to tell you about this shirt.. I was in xxxx the other day and I am like... wow there is a sale goin on.. I am like.. i have to check the dress shirt section ..so i head over and start looking up the aisle and i am like.. wow they are so pretty .. my friend is like ..you should totally buy this ..so i am like thinking if that color is a bit too bold.. but i tried it on and I am like..wow...I got a great deal .. the actual price was over 70$ and i was getting it for 30$..i was like woo hoo... !
True Story !!
All i needed to hear was "Thanks " and it would have spared me this blog !!
me:Hey XXX nice shirt....
XXX: Oh my god..I have to tell you about this shirt.. I was in xxxx the other day and I am like... wow there is a sale goin on.. I am like.. i have to check the dress shirt section ..so i head over and start looking up the aisle and i am like.. wow they are so pretty .. my friend is like ..you should totally buy this ..so i am like thinking if that color is a bit too bold.. but i tried it on and I am like..wow...I got a great deal .. the actual price was over 70$ and i was getting it for 30$..i was like woo hoo... !
True Story !!
All i needed to hear was "Thanks " and it would have spared me this blog !!
Airline Manners.....
Its the day after labor day weekend and i start my day at 5 AM, still groggy from the binge drinking on the scotch i bought earlier (btw there was no party, i drank out of sheer boredom). I get ready and wait for the cab driver to pick me up ( My profession demands me to travel every week) ..he is a couple of minutes late which makes me anxious and unsettles the sleep mode i am looking forward to ..... Finally my driver arrives all apologetic and still half sleepy.. i strike a conversation with him through out the journey just so he is awake on the road and we can avoid being the local Hudson newspaper headlines....
At the airport, i am trying to rush thru the security line when a security personnel stops and asks me where was I heading to and all of a sudden i drew a blank.. i couldn't remember where i was heading, i found it amusing but the agent was beginning to freak out as the situation compounded her to think illogically.... primarily because my wheatish Asian complexion... she casually called me to the side and i got the privilege of experiencing TSA's emphatic interest in my clothing, shoes,cologne & laptop.
Barely making it on time to my the southwest flight and i take the window seat (as i always do) inorder to sleep thru the journey. I was just about to fall into my sweet slumber when all of a sudden i am awakened by a big thump in the middle seat.. i see this guy (around 50yrs, old but strong enought to cause enough harm in a combat) throwing his stuff on the middle seat and using the leg space in the middle seat to stash his luggage and take the aisle with total disregard to the unspoken code of decency on an airline. I am in no mood to challenge his action so i ignore the dude and am off to sleep again. This time i hear a lady's voice piercing thru my sleep and i see that we have a third passenger in my row on the middle seat, all the luggage and thrash that was being hogged by the oldie was now under his feet.. and she is terribly upset about the fact that her bags could not be accommodated on the plane and hence has to be checked. Apparently she was a flight attendant with American Airlines on a southwest flight (ironic isnt it) and she was trying to use her credentials to expect a favor from the attendant she knew from the past.. thats when i see this stewardess pull out a random bag, ask who the owner is and literally informs the passenger that it would be checked in....i see that the passenger barely reacts.. if it were me i would have pounced like a angry lion trying to gaurd his cub being taken away by a hyena....at this point in time i am wide awake and highly appalled by the act .. and have to hear her converse the entire 100 minutes of flying time with the oldie in the next seat.. i am beginning to wonder ..its a frikking 6:oo AM flight and who in the right mind will have the enthusiasm to talk gardens and restaurant recommendations with a random stranger at such an ungodly time of the day....what are these guys on ??
The plane lands and I am elated by the fact that I no longer need to tolerate the inconvinience caused by my fellow passengers. I look up to see the passenger who lost his luggage and to my surprise he pulls out a bag from the top and heads out... although i am a little surprised i beginning to think that the dude had two bags and its not that bad after all that he was asked to check in the other.. now its my turn to head out on the gang way and I am looking for my bag frantically ..sooner than later i realized that It was my bag that was checked in !!! Frikking wonderful start to a great day ..huh .. I hate'em all !!!
At the airport, i am trying to rush thru the security line when a security personnel stops and asks me where was I heading to and all of a sudden i drew a blank.. i couldn't remember where i was heading, i found it amusing but the agent was beginning to freak out as the situation compounded her to think illogically.... primarily because my wheatish Asian complexion... she casually called me to the side and i got the privilege of experiencing TSA's emphatic interest in my clothing, shoes,cologne & laptop.
Barely making it on time to my the southwest flight and i take the window seat (as i always do) inorder to sleep thru the journey. I was just about to fall into my sweet slumber when all of a sudden i am awakened by a big thump in the middle seat.. i see this guy (around 50yrs, old but strong enought to cause enough harm in a combat) throwing his stuff on the middle seat and using the leg space in the middle seat to stash his luggage and take the aisle with total disregard to the unspoken code of decency on an airline. I am in no mood to challenge his action so i ignore the dude and am off to sleep again. This time i hear a lady's voice piercing thru my sleep and i see that we have a third passenger in my row on the middle seat, all the luggage and thrash that was being hogged by the oldie was now under his feet.. and she is terribly upset about the fact that her bags could not be accommodated on the plane and hence has to be checked. Apparently she was a flight attendant with American Airlines on a southwest flight (ironic isnt it) and she was trying to use her credentials to expect a favor from the attendant she knew from the past.. thats when i see this stewardess pull out a random bag, ask who the owner is and literally informs the passenger that it would be checked in....i see that the passenger barely reacts.. if it were me i would have pounced like a angry lion trying to gaurd his cub being taken away by a hyena....at this point in time i am wide awake and highly appalled by the act .. and have to hear her converse the entire 100 minutes of flying time with the oldie in the next seat.. i am beginning to wonder ..its a frikking 6:oo AM flight and who in the right mind will have the enthusiasm to talk gardens and restaurant recommendations with a random stranger at such an ungodly time of the day....what are these guys on ??
The plane lands and I am elated by the fact that I no longer need to tolerate the inconvinience caused by my fellow passengers. I look up to see the passenger who lost his luggage and to my surprise he pulls out a bag from the top and heads out... although i am a little surprised i beginning to think that the dude had two bags and its not that bad after all that he was asked to check in the other.. now its my turn to head out on the gang way and I am looking for my bag frantically ..sooner than later i realized that It was my bag that was checked in !!! Frikking wonderful start to a great day ..huh .. I hate'em all !!!
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